Hi Gabby! I thought your first story was so cute! The idea of rewriting the fairy tale with a lighthearted twist was very fun and playful, and I loved the dogs as well! I was a little confused seeing the story at first without the introduction to tie together the concept of of your storyboard, but I can't wait to read it later! Aside from Josie and Bailey in the story, was there any other backstory for the other two dogs? If you ever wanted to write a sequel to this story I think it would be interesting to see how all four of them interact. My only suggestion is clarifying how Josie not getting her toy translated to her getting something even better (a best friend)! I made the connection after reading the author's note but I was a little difficult to connect at first! I think it would help to emphasize Josie wanting a specific toy at the beginning, rather than focusing on all 3 of the pups! Overall, great job!
I just realized that this could very well be a portfolio and not a storybook, which explains why there isn't an introduction. My bad! You can ignore the part about the intro, I was confused!
Hi Gabby! First of all, I love the characters. This is a fun twist on a storybook all of us know. I already knew that I was going to love the story. I think that it is really cool how you took them out of the context of a normal setting. The story is normally seen with people and I like that you took it in a completely different direction. You have an amazing talent for telling a story because I smiled all throughout it. I like, also, how you change the ending. The storybook creates a darker end but yours remains little and friendly the whole time. If each of the storybooks is written in this similar fashion, I think your portfolio will be really well done! I love the happy ending of putting them together. It kept the story line very similar to the actual book but not enough that it was not a new read.
Hi Gabby! Really cool theme on your blog and project, first off. The banner image for your project is so beautiful! It's my favorite one that I can remember. I can't recall seeing a title like this for a project before. This captured my attention before reading your first story. I liked the light-hearted mood of your story. It was a pleasant way to start off my day :) Three dogs sure sounds like a handful! I loved the part where you mentioned Katy's familiar feeling of wanting another dog. This is all too familiar! The way you described Bailey reminded me of my old dog, named Ginger. Ginger was a great dog--very timid though, which you captured while describing Bailey. I loved seeing the chemistry between Bailey and Josie. The ending was so happy! Great story. I love how stories about dogs can bring back happy memories and feelings. They are really special animals! Keep up the good work!
Hi Habby! I think your project is off to such a great start! I loved the hand drawn puppy image as your banner image for the story! It's so adorable! Your first story is looking so great and I love the spin you took on the traditional Beauty and the Beast story! The puppy characters are fun, modern, and just so cute! I have to say though, I was a little confused in the beginning with that your story was going to be about without the introduction. I think adding that feature in will really help tie everything together nicely. Also, what made you decide on the title "1, 2, 3?" Does it have to do with the three dogs?" Maybe in your introduction include a sneak peak on what got you to that title! Overall, I truly enjoyed your story and your creativity! I appreciated how you adapted your story to include a happy ending because I don't think a dark ending would have been complementary! Keep up the good work and I look forward to reading the rest of your stories!
Hi Gabby! Wow the introduction paragraph on your 'Finding Pambe's Paradise' was really captivating. I love how you used the typical half fish, half human mermaid tale but put a more modern and up-to-date spin on it. I especially like that you wait to describe what paradise is until the second paragraph. Also, writing in the first person really fit well in your story. I can tell you added a bit of an ego to her character, especially when she said how easy it would be to make a man fall in love with her. Overall I thought your story flowed well and was a good, light-hearted read. Your first story 'three squeaky balls' was also incredibly fun to read. I'm a huge dog lover so I enjoyed every sentence of it. I really like the theme you picked for your website as well- it's light and airy and ties to your stories well. Great job!
First of all, my initial impressions were very pleasing! I love the colors of your homepage with the pretty clouds! However, I am very confused by the title. It makes me think that this was your test site that you could play around with before starting your actual site. But if this title is supposed to somehow relate to your stories, then I would suggest maybe explaining what the title means and how it relates to your portfolio on the front page.
I really enjoyed both of your stories, especially "Finding Pambe's Paradise." I love how you incorporated multiple pictures throughout the text. It really breaks up all of the words and is nice for the readers to look at. Also, the header picture blew me away with how beautiful it was! But, so did your writing! You are a fantastic writer and I cannot wait to read more of your portfolio this semester!
Hi Gabby :) First off, I really like the title of your portfolio. It grabbed my attention right away! For both of your stories, I really liked the characters. They're all very fun and light hearted. I also love how they all get happy endings. The way you incorporate your pictures into your stories is really wonderful, especially in "Finding Pambe's Paradise." I personally have a little trouble adding the pictures, so it's great when I see people who don't have as much trouble as I do! The only thing I would say need a little tweaking are your sentences and paragraph structures. You tend to lean toward run-on sentences which can be a little confusing to follow. I recommend breaking them up a little. Varying sentence length between short, medium, and long is a great way to make it easier for your audience to follow your story. It also helps your great stories flow better! Most of your paragraphs tend to be blocks of text, as well. Don't be afraid to to have short paragraphs that are only two or three sentences long, the variation makes for great reading and helps it flow better for the reader as well. (I actually have the opposite problem of having too many short paragraphs in a row, lol.) But your stories as a whole are great! Your characters are vivid, and the third story is going to be awesome :)
I agree with the other people in the comments, you have a beautiful website. It's bright and happy looking. The heading images don't seem to go with your stories, but it makes your site look cohesive. I'm guessing that you have a portfolio, so linking the stories together by having a similar aesthetic theme is a nice idea. I also liked your other use of pictures. They add to your story and make your page interesting to look at! On to suggestions, first, I don't understand your title. I thought it would be story 1, 2, and 3, but they are backwards on your navigation panel. The go home, 2, 1 Maybe you could rearrange the order or a a bit to the title. Like, Testing 1-2-3: "(subtitle here)" The stories were great to read, but I think you could add in more dialogue, especially in "Pambe's Paradise" it's a lot of the character's thinking/narration, so it might be nice to break it up with some speaking lines! There are a few, but I think it would add more action to the story if you created some dialogue between Pambe and another character (maybe the fisherman?). Good work, I'm excited to read your next story!
I absolutely love your website! I think it is nicely decorated and looks professional. I think it is easy to navigate, which is great for classmates. I also skimmed through your stories and I liked the ones you have chosen to write about. I also personally love the touches of purple on your website because purple is one of my favorite colors. Also, I really enjoyed reading your first story. I am a big fan of fairy tales so it was fun for me to read your story and see what you changed to the story from its' original form. I think you did a great job re-writting the story because it was very clear and an easy read. I think you are a great writer and it is fun for me to get to read my classmates work. I hope you have enjoyed the semester and this class so far. Great job with your stories and website. I love it all!
Hi Gabby! Your website is so colorful and has some great pictures added to it! I just have a few comments regarding the formatting of it. On the top, story 2 comes before story 1.I didn't know if you meant it to be that way, but it could be a little confusing for readers when they come across your page. On the home page I tried navigating to the stories you wrote, but the links unfortunately didn't work and take me to the stories. It could be a fault on my end though. For your first story, it is the first fairy tail I have read for the class and I really enjoyed it. The characters in your story had fun personalities! You really showcased their personalities in your stories through your writing well. The photos and the youtube videos made "Pambe's Paradise" come to life and I thought it was a great addition. Looking forward to the rest of your stories!
I love the look of your Project. All of your cover photos are very relaxing and comforting. It gives a warm, inviting feel to your website. Your first story was so cute! I also read The Three Roses for one of my stories earlier this semester, and I love your take on it. I'm a big fan of dogs, so I enjoyed how your first story was very dog-centric. Did you consider maybe sharing the reactions of Sarah and Sofia when Bailey came home? They don't like when new people come to the house, but what about new dogs? Maybe the relationship of those three dogs could be explored as well.
The mermaid's situation reminds me a lot of the Beast's situation from "Beauty and the Beast". They are both punished in order to learn a lesson and see a new perspective. Both are creatures that have to somehow find love with a human. I loved that movie as a kid (and I even played the Beast in my middle school production of the musical). Great job on your Project so far! I look forward to seeing the stories you write in the future!
Hi Gabby! I loved your first story so much! I'm a huge dog lover so I immediately resonated with the main character Katy! I honestly loved that she spoiled her pups so much because I would do the same! As soon as the story said she was going to the pet store I had a feeling she'd end up with a new dog because I know I have to avoid the pets knowing I would leave with one too. I was so sad for Bailey when she found him all alone! I didn't want Katy to leave without him, so I'm happy she finally went back for him! I think the only things I wish there were more of is a little more explanation of Katy's dogs so I could visualize them better! And then maybe a little background of how she got them? She seemed to have a huge heart for lost Bailey so I was wondering if she rescued her other pups! But your story was great!
Hi Gabby! I like that you have a very pretty website but I was instantly able to tell that you were going to be talking about dogs. I love dogs and was very excited to start reading. The story was so sweet and I found myself really into the character Katy. One of my closest friends name is Katie and I saw a lot of similar traits between your character and her and it made the story even more enjoyable. I think that making this story ore light hearted was a really good choice. I love how you were able to give these dog the characteristics based off of the story and make it fit so well. It was very enjoyable to read and I think that you did an amazing job with the story I think that you are a very talented and picked such a great subject that is fun and interesting to read.
Hey Katy, I really enjoyed reading your story “Three Squeaky Balls”. I am a dog owner, so I was really exited to read this story as soon as I saw the title. I also grew up having chihuahuas as pets, so I really liked that you incorporated the breed into your story. I like how you gave each dog a different personality which helped develop their character. I think its almost impossible to go into a pet store and not want to walk out with a dog! I felt really bad for Bailey! I’m glad that Bailey and Katy ended up getting reunited at the end. I like how you made your story flow and it was very easy to read. By going to the pet store, I was interested to see what would happen later on, so it kept me engaged in the rest of the story. Good job!
Hi Gabby! Your pictures on all of these stories are very pretty! My favorite images were included in your story "Finding Pambe's Paradise". The fairy images and everything else that was included really made this story pop out at you and draw your attention into what was being written. One thing that I may look into adjusting regarding the images you used are the banners at the top of your posts. For example, while I thought it was a smart idea to include something about a beach/vacation spot for your first story, it seemed a little generic and unrelated to the story in my opinion. I think the image is very pretty; however, I think you could change it to something that fits this story even more. Overall, I think you did a fantastic job in both writing your story and including images that fit each story fairly well. Good job!
Hi Gabby! Your project is awesome. It is easy to navigate, and that is really helpful. The layout and images are very intentional, instead of just busy images that don't add much to the story, which is great. I can tell you put a lot of time and effort into this, and it shows! I loved your story "Three Squeaky Balls". I have done a few stories about dogs and I think they are super fun. I really loved getting to read your work, you're doing a great job!
Hi, Gabby! Great job on your portfolio. You had some really fun and interesting stories.
For "Three Squeaky Balls", I really loved the way you changed that story from the original. I rewrote "The Three Roses" as one of my weekly stories and never would have come up with that telling. I would suggest in your author's note for this story, you say which story it is you're changing in the first sentence.
I'm not sure what happened with your second story. The title and image are different. However, the text is your third story about the polar bear.
For "The Story of Little Bear", in the very last paragraph, I think you missed the word "head" in one of the sentences. Instead of "hung his head low", it says "hung his low". Otherwise, great story and great choice with the micro fiction. Again, tell us teh story at the beginning of the Author's note. It's technically information we get from the bibliography but it reads nicer if it's just given to us by you.
Hey Gabby, I really liked looking through your project! It is very accessible, easy to navigate and read- thank you so much for that! The biggest thing that struck me from your project is the titles of the stories, I think I understand what you are doing with the "1,2,3" but I think that your stories having creative titles that are specific to them could really help get your reader's attention! I appreciate that your project includes a table of contents, this makes your project very easy to navigate, which I love. I think that this is a great thing to include, but you should include a more detailed/ exciting description of each story to entice your readers. Great job overall :)
Hi, Gabby! I thought your storybook webpage was easy to navigate through and I liked the layout! It was nice to have the title and description of each story on your homepage and then include links to each story; it’s all in one spot for easy access. The images you chose are beautiful and they coincide with the topic of your stories. The stories are also fun to read because they were light-hearted and cute! I read the first two stories and this week’s feedback is about paragraphing; I thought your use of paragraphs was executed well. I was able to follow along easily in both the stories and author’s notes. The breaks in each paragraph allowed the story to flow easily, but not have so much at once. The only paragraph break I would suggest is in “Finding Pambe’s Paradise,” where the Padishah is introduced in the story. I feel like it would be a nice contrast to the previous sentences when Pambe believes things are going her way. Overall, the stories are enjoyable and organized well!!
Hi Gabby! Your storybook is great. The idea for the project is really unique, and I can tell you put a lot of work and effort into it. I enjoyed reading your stories. Everything is easy to get around, and easy to navigate. I also have a portfolio, and really like it because it is cool to get to have different topics for your stories, instead of having to fit each story into a specific category. I enjoyed your project a lot and I wish you the best of luck on the rest of your semester!
Hi Gabby! I really liked your storybook/portfolio. I enjoyed reading your retellings of the three different tales! I have actually read the source stories for each of these so it was really fun to see a new twist on all of them! I found your stories through the class list so I was a bit confused at first if this was a storybook or a portfolio. My personal preference would be just for a quick sentence or two to say welcome to my portfolio so folks feel less lost. But again that is my personal preference and may not be what you have in mind for your website!
All your stories were easy to read and understand. I appreciated your author's notes to explain your process and ideas! Thank you for sharing these stories with us! -Eli
Hi Gabby! I thought your first story was so cute! The idea of rewriting the fairy tale with a lighthearted twist was very fun and playful, and I loved the dogs as well! I was a little confused seeing the story at first without the introduction to tie together the concept of of your storyboard, but I can't wait to read it later! Aside from Josie and Bailey in the story, was there any other backstory for the other two dogs? If you ever wanted to write a sequel to this story I think it would be interesting to see how all four of them interact. My only suggestion is clarifying how Josie not getting her toy translated to her getting something even better (a best friend)! I made the connection after reading the author's note but I was a little difficult to connect at first! I think it would help to emphasize Josie wanting a specific toy at the beginning, rather than focusing on all 3 of the pups! Overall, great job!
ReplyDeleteI just realized that this could very well be a portfolio and not a storybook, which explains why there isn't an introduction. My bad! You can ignore the part about the intro, I was confused!
DeleteHi Gabby! First of all, I love the characters. This is a fun twist on a storybook all of us know. I already knew that I was going to love the story. I think that it is really cool how you took them out of the context of a normal setting. The story is normally seen with people and I like that you took it in a completely different direction. You have an amazing talent for telling a story because I smiled all throughout it. I like, also, how you change the ending. The storybook creates a darker end but yours remains little and friendly the whole time. If each of the storybooks is written in this similar fashion, I think your portfolio will be really well done! I love the happy ending of putting them together. It kept the story line very similar to the actual book but not enough that it was not a new read.
ReplyDeleteHi Gabby! Really cool theme on your blog and project, first off. The banner image for your project is so beautiful! It's my favorite one that I can remember. I can't recall seeing a title like this for a project before. This captured my attention before reading your first story. I liked the light-hearted mood of your story. It was a pleasant way to start off my day :) Three dogs sure sounds like a handful! I loved the part where you mentioned Katy's familiar feeling of wanting another dog. This is all too familiar! The way you described Bailey reminded me of my old dog, named Ginger. Ginger was a great dog--very timid though, which you captured while describing Bailey. I loved seeing the chemistry between Bailey and Josie. The ending was so happy! Great story. I love how stories about dogs can bring back happy memories and feelings. They are really special animals! Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteHi Habby! I think your project is off to such a great start! I loved the hand drawn puppy image as your banner image for the story! It's so adorable! Your first story is looking so great and I love the spin you took on the traditional Beauty and the Beast story! The puppy characters are fun, modern, and just so cute! I have to say though, I was a little confused in the beginning with that your story was going to be about without the introduction. I think adding that feature in will really help tie everything together nicely. Also, what made you decide on the title "1, 2, 3?" Does it have to do with the three dogs?" Maybe in your introduction include a sneak peak on what got you to that title! Overall, I truly enjoyed your story and your creativity! I appreciated how you adapted your story to include a happy ending because I don't think a dark ending would have been complementary! Keep up the good work and I look forward to reading the rest of your stories!
ReplyDeleteHi Gabby! Wow the introduction paragraph on your 'Finding Pambe's Paradise' was really captivating. I love how you used the typical half fish, half human mermaid tale but put a more modern and up-to-date spin on it. I especially like that you wait to describe what paradise is until the second paragraph. Also, writing in the first person really fit well in your story. I can tell you added a bit of an ego to her character, especially when she said how easy it would be to make a man fall in love with her. Overall I thought your story flowed well and was a good, light-hearted read. Your first story 'three squeaky balls' was also incredibly fun to read. I'm a huge dog lover so I enjoyed every sentence of it. I really like the theme you picked for your website as well- it's light and airy and ties to your stories well. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHi Gabby,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, my initial impressions were very pleasing! I love the colors of your homepage with the pretty clouds! However, I am very confused by the title. It makes me think that this was your test site that you could play around with before starting your actual site. But if this title is supposed to somehow relate to your stories, then I would suggest maybe explaining what the title means and how it relates to your portfolio on the front page.
I really enjoyed both of your stories, especially "Finding Pambe's Paradise." I love how you incorporated multiple pictures throughout the text. It really breaks up all of the words and is nice for the readers to look at. Also, the header picture blew me away with how beautiful it was! But, so did your writing! You are a fantastic writer and I cannot wait to read more of your portfolio this semester!
-Libby
Hi Gabby :)
ReplyDeleteFirst off, I really like the title of your portfolio. It grabbed my attention right away! For both of your stories, I really liked the characters. They're all very fun and light hearted. I also love how they all get happy endings. The way you incorporate your pictures into your stories is really wonderful, especially in "Finding Pambe's Paradise." I personally have a little trouble adding the pictures, so it's great when I see people who don't have as much trouble as I do!
The only thing I would say need a little tweaking are your sentences and paragraph structures. You tend to lean toward run-on sentences which can be a little confusing to follow. I recommend breaking them up a little. Varying sentence length between short, medium, and long is a great way to make it easier for your audience to follow your story. It also helps your great stories flow better!
Most of your paragraphs tend to be blocks of text, as well. Don't be afraid to to have short paragraphs that are only two or three sentences long, the variation makes for great reading and helps it flow better for the reader as well.
(I actually have the opposite problem of having too many short paragraphs in a row, lol.)
But your stories as a whole are great! Your characters are vivid, and the third story is going to be awesome :)
Hello Gabby,
ReplyDeleteI agree with the other people in the comments, you have a beautiful website. It's bright and happy looking. The heading images don't seem to go with your stories, but it makes your site look cohesive. I'm guessing that you have a portfolio, so linking the stories together by having a similar aesthetic theme is a nice idea. I also liked your other use of pictures. They add to your story and make your page interesting to look at!
On to suggestions, first, I don't understand your title. I thought it would be story 1, 2, and 3, but they are backwards on your navigation panel. The go home, 2, 1 Maybe you could rearrange the order or a a bit to the title. Like, Testing 1-2-3: "(subtitle here)"
The stories were great to read, but I think you could add in more dialogue, especially in "Pambe's Paradise" it's a lot of the character's thinking/narration, so it might be nice to break it up with some speaking lines! There are a few, but I think it would add more action to the story if you created some dialogue between Pambe and another character (maybe the fisherman?).
Good work, I'm excited to read your next story!
Hi Gabby!
ReplyDeleteI absolutely love your website! I think it is nicely decorated and looks professional. I think it is easy to navigate, which is great for classmates. I also skimmed through your stories and I liked the ones you have chosen to write about. I also personally love the touches of purple on your website because purple is one of my favorite colors. Also, I really enjoyed reading your first story. I am a big fan of fairy tales so it was fun for me to read your story and see what you changed to the story from its' original form. I think you did a great job re-writting the story because it was very clear and an easy read. I think you are a great writer and it is fun for me to get to read my classmates work. I hope you have enjoyed the semester and this class so far. Great job with your stories and website. I love it all!
Hi Gabby!
ReplyDeleteYour website is so colorful and has some great pictures added to it! I just have a few comments regarding the formatting of it. On the top, story 2 comes before story 1.I didn't know if you meant it to be that way, but it could be a little confusing for readers when they come across your page. On the home page I tried navigating to the stories you wrote, but the links unfortunately didn't work and take me to the stories. It could be a fault on my end though. For your first story, it is the first fairy tail I have read for the class and I really enjoyed it. The characters in your story had fun personalities! You really showcased their personalities in your stories through your writing well. The photos and the youtube videos made "Pambe's Paradise" come to life and I thought it was a great addition. Looking forward to the rest of your stories!
Hi Gabby!
ReplyDeleteI love the look of your Project. All of your cover photos are very relaxing and comforting. It gives a warm, inviting feel to your website. Your first story was so cute! I also read The Three Roses for one of my stories earlier this semester, and I love your take on it. I'm a big fan of dogs, so I enjoyed how your first story was very dog-centric. Did you consider maybe sharing the reactions of Sarah and Sofia when Bailey came home? They don't like when new people come to the house, but what about new dogs? Maybe the relationship of those three dogs could be explored as well.
The mermaid's situation reminds me a lot of the Beast's situation from "Beauty and the Beast". They are both punished in order to learn a lesson and see a new perspective. Both are creatures that have to somehow find love with a human. I loved that movie as a kid (and I even played the Beast in my middle school production of the musical). Great job on your Project so far! I look forward to seeing the stories you write in the future!
Hi Gabby!
ReplyDeleteI loved your first story so much! I'm a huge dog lover so I immediately resonated with the main character Katy! I honestly loved that she spoiled her pups so much because I would do the same! As soon as the story said she was going to the pet store I had a feeling she'd end up with a new dog because I know I have to avoid the pets knowing I would leave with one too. I was so sad for Bailey when she found him all alone! I didn't want Katy to leave without him, so I'm happy she finally went back for him! I think the only things I wish there were more of is a little more explanation of Katy's dogs so I could visualize them better! And then maybe a little background of how she got them? She seemed to have a huge heart for lost Bailey so I was wondering if she rescued her other pups! But your story was great!
Hi Gabby!
ReplyDeleteI like that you have a very pretty website but I was instantly able to tell that you were going to be talking about dogs. I love dogs and was very excited to start reading. The story was so sweet and I found myself really into the character Katy. One of my closest friends name is Katie and I saw a lot of similar traits between your character and her and it made the story even more enjoyable. I think that making this story ore light hearted was a really good choice. I love how you were able to give these dog the characteristics based off of the story and make it fit so well. It was very enjoyable to read and I think that you did an amazing job with the story I think that you are a very talented and picked such a great subject that is fun and interesting to read.
Hey Katy, I really enjoyed reading your story “Three Squeaky Balls”. I am a dog owner, so I was really exited to read this story as soon as I saw the title. I also grew up having chihuahuas as pets, so I really liked that you incorporated the breed into your story. I like how you gave each dog a different personality which helped develop their character. I think its almost impossible to go into a pet store and not want to walk out with a dog! I felt really bad for Bailey! I’m glad that Bailey and Katy ended up getting reunited at the end. I like how you made your story flow and it was very easy to read. By going to the pet store, I was interested to see what would happen later on, so it kept me engaged in the rest of the story. Good job!
ReplyDeleteHi Gabby! Your pictures on all of these stories are very pretty! My favorite images were included in your story "Finding Pambe's Paradise". The fairy images and everything else that was included really made this story pop out at you and draw your attention into what was being written. One thing that I may look into adjusting regarding the images you used are the banners at the top of your posts. For example, while I thought it was a smart idea to include something about a beach/vacation spot for your first story, it seemed a little generic and unrelated to the story in my opinion. I think the image is very pretty; however, I think you could change it to something that fits this story even more. Overall, I think you did a fantastic job in both writing your story and including images that fit each story fairly well. Good job!
ReplyDeleteHi Gabby! Your project is awesome. It is easy to navigate, and that is really helpful. The layout and images are very intentional, instead of just busy images that don't add much to the story, which is great. I can tell you put a lot of time and effort into this, and it shows! I loved your story "Three Squeaky Balls". I have done a few stories about dogs and I think they are super fun. I really loved getting to read your work, you're doing a great job!
ReplyDeleteHi, Gabby! Great job on your portfolio. You had some really fun and interesting stories.
ReplyDeleteFor "Three Squeaky Balls", I really loved the way you changed that story from the original. I rewrote "The Three Roses" as one of my weekly stories and never would have come up with that telling. I would suggest in your author's note for this story, you say which story it is you're changing in the first sentence.
I'm not sure what happened with your second story. The title and image are different. However, the text is your third story about the polar bear.
For "The Story of Little Bear", in the very last paragraph, I think you missed the word "head" in one of the sentences. Instead of "hung his head low", it says "hung his low". Otherwise, great story and great choice with the micro fiction. Again, tell us teh story at the beginning of the Author's note. It's technically information we get from the bibliography but it reads nicer if it's just given to us by you.
Hey Gabby,
ReplyDeleteI really liked looking through your project! It is very accessible, easy to navigate and read- thank you so much for that! The biggest thing that struck me from your project is the titles of the stories, I think I understand what you are doing with the "1,2,3" but I think that your stories having creative titles that are specific to them could really help get your reader's attention! I appreciate that your project includes a table of contents, this makes your project very easy to navigate, which I love. I think that this is a great thing to include, but you should include a more detailed/ exciting description of each story to entice your readers. Great job overall :)
Hi, Gabby! I thought your storybook webpage was easy to navigate through and I liked the layout! It was nice to have the title and description of each story on your homepage and then include links to each story; it’s all in one spot for easy access. The images you chose are beautiful and they coincide with the topic of your stories. The stories are also fun to read because they were light-hearted and cute! I read the first two stories and this week’s feedback is about paragraphing; I thought your use of paragraphs was executed well. I was able to follow along easily in both the stories and author’s notes. The breaks in each paragraph allowed the story to flow easily, but not have so much at once. The only paragraph break I would suggest is in “Finding Pambe’s Paradise,” where the Padishah is introduced in the story. I feel like it would be a nice contrast to the previous sentences when Pambe believes things are going her way. Overall, the stories are enjoyable and organized well!!
ReplyDeleteHi Gabby!
ReplyDeleteYour storybook is great. The idea for the project is really unique, and I can tell you put a lot of work and effort into it. I enjoyed reading your stories. Everything is easy to get around, and easy to navigate. I also have a portfolio, and really like it because it is cool to get to have different topics for your stories, instead of having to fit each story into a specific category. I enjoyed your project a lot and I wish you the best of luck on the rest of your semester!
Hi Gabby!
ReplyDeleteI really liked your storybook/portfolio. I enjoyed reading your retellings of the three different tales! I have actually read the source stories for each of these so it was really fun to see a new twist on all of them! I found your stories through the class list so I was a bit confused at first if this was a storybook or a portfolio. My personal preference would be just for a quick sentence or two to say welcome to my portfolio so folks feel less lost. But again that is my personal preference and may not be what you have in mind for your website!
All your stories were easy to read and understand. I appreciated your author's notes to explain your process and ideas! Thank you for sharing these stories with us!
-Eli